Hi Brian - I have a bit of an interesting question for you that I am really hoping you can help me with. I have been in a serious relationship with my boyfriend for a little over a year. About a month ago he stopped complimenting me on how I look when I get dressed up for our weekly date nights. I am really worried because I know several people say the 1 year mark is a turning point for most relationships and I am worried my boyfriend might be losing interest. I don't want to be the girl who starts acting insecure around him, but I do want to grab his interest potentially with an amazing outfit for our next date night. I would appreciate any fashion and/or relationship tips you could suggest for my situation. Thank you so much - Sarah
Hey Sarah, and thanks for writing in with your question for this week. This has been quite a popular question over the last few weeks with emails coming flooding in, so I thought this week I would kill a few birds with one stone.
It's that dreaded time of the relationship. The one year mark, and from both personal experience and from others' opinions, it is a very very testing time for a couple. It's sort of like that in between period of 'is this relationship going somewhere, or is it time to move on'. It's the make or break point in a relationship. Couples get very comfortable by this stage and tend to not make as much effort, or if there is effort, it's either one or the other..Very few times do we come across both involved making 100% effort. A lot of the time it's one pulling the other through this struggle.
With your situation Sarah, it looks as though your man is taking you for granted a little. If he always complimented you on how you look, and has now started to fail in that department, it means that he's fallen into his comfort zone with you. He expects you to look good. It's not necessarily a case of him not thinking you still look hot, but more of a case of him being so used to it, that he sees no need, sub-consciously, to make a comment about it. Obviously, for yourself, this can be quite upsetting, because, let's face it, we all love receiving compliments from our loved ones, and when we don't get it, it can be quite disheartening. We fail to realize how much a compliment on how we look can make that huge difference. Trust me, it even get's me sometimes. I've had situations in the past where not getting a compliment from a girlfriend has made me wonder if they are interested anymore, or maybe as much as they used to be. We become a little insecure and look for ways to get them interested. If you outright just dont get compliments at all, or very very rarely, I'd just say dump them. There is someone definitely out there that will appreciate you much more and let you know about it.
Wearing something that just blows him away could very well be something that works. But it also has to be in the right environment. For example you don't want to go wear a ball-gown to your local bar. Maybe wearing something in the confines of your own privacy/home could spice things up a little. You need to re-ignite the spark that was there at the beginning. Changing your hairstyle, changing your wardrobe a little, maybe even sexy lingerie. It's difficult to say what would definitely make the difference. A nice, new dress could do the trick, with matching accessories . Something a little different from the norm, something that makes him stop and take notice.
I have had situations in the past where friends of mine have welcomed attention from other guys, to make their partner jealous, which could make him double his efforts with you. The difference is astonishing. Even the smallest bit of attention would make him come running, and if he doesn't, it's definitely time to move on. You want to be subtle in your efforts to get his attention back and to make him notice you. Remind him of why you started dating in the first place. Unfortunately, it does become easy for both parties, or either party in a relationship to falter a little when that comfortable zone kicks in. It's important to bring your partner out of that zone.
Again, year two of a relationship is by far one of the toughest. Just be sure that the level of effort doesn't falter and cause you to fall into a web of comfortability.
I hope this helps you Sarah, and gives you a little bit of an idea as to what the important factors are with keeping a relationship together and healthy. Good luck.
Remember to keep your emails coming in. Whether you're looking for fashion advice or even relationship advice from a guy's perspective, contact me at AskHim@cmarchuska.com
Check this video out about how one girl managed to get her guy's attention.....